The Equestrain Adventures of Rayne and Ralph
by Rayne and Ralph
Summary: The tale of two brothers whom find themselves in a strange and magical land. In this story, MLP FiM never existed in the human world, and when Rayne and Ralph are accidently transported with their cars and some of their belongings to the land of Equestria, they are in for a new life full of random miss-haps, slap-stick comedy, and romance in ways they never thought possible.
1. Were those ?

**Hello readers. This story is being written by two good fellows. We own nothing but the ideas.**

As she paced through the royal Canterlot library, Twilight Sparkle continued to search for more information about her favorite magician, Starswirl the Bearded. With all that she wanted to know there was still one thing she never could find out though.

"It's so strange," she said as she searched the archives," There isn't a single book, report, or parchment on his where-abouts or what happened to him Spike."

Spike was busy searching through a large stack of parchment, hoping to find something to help Twilight.

"No, no, I don't even want to know that does, no, no, what does that even mean? no," Spike mumbled as he dug through the parchment. "Oh hey, how about this, the Time Sprint spell?"

"You mean the same spell that I used to try to warn myself about the future?" She said in a puzzled tone as she walked over to him. "That spell could only be used once."

"Yea but what about the fact that you're an Alicorn, maybe you're magic is stronger."

As she looked over the spell again and thought about it, she began to think aloud.

"Hmm, maybe I can try it again but I still don't know how far to go back, unless… Spike, we need to see Princess Celestia and Princess Luna."

Meanwhile, back in human earth, two brothers prepared.

"It's so weird, this place being so empty," Rayne said aloud looking around the now bare house," There's so much space."

"Yea and just think, no more paying rent," Ralph said as he came in. "So, let's just clean it up a little and get on the road."

The two had been hanging since high school and Ralph, after finishing his time in the military, moved in with Rayne. The two also worked together in a metal factory as powder-coaters. Ralph had always been the high-strung one of them, and having served in the military was proficient in marksmanship and tactics. Rayne was the quieter and reserved one, was a high-school drop-out with honors in the GED, and was more into racing and the technical aspect of things. Separate they seemed like an unlikely duo, but when they showed their capabilities as a team, they were amazing.

"Well it's as clean as its goina get," Ralph said as they did one last check around the house.

"I'm going to go ahead and flip the breakers off for the landlord and shut off the water to the toilets."

With one last check around to make sure they had the last bit of their stuff in their cars, they locked the door to the house one last time, hopped in each one's car, and headed up the driveway, dropping their keys into the mailbox. Ralph's car was the bigger of the two, it being an Accord, it was also a bit better ride and had a good majority of the two's belongings including their flat screens wrapped in a few of blankets, their laptops, his clothes, some random snacks, a good number of movies and games, Ralph's 9mm and ammo as well as his crossbow and a good handful of arrows, and some combat knives.

Rayne, he liked his Eclipse because it was small, loud and fast, but sadly it couldn't haul a lot so he had most of the small stuff like the game consoles, his clothes, his collection of knives and his 2 favorite swords, Ralphs guitar, his 4-string bass guitar, some energy drinks, tool kits, their tablets, and a few of their blankets.

Back in Equestria, Twilight was in court discussing with Celestia and Luna who had informed her how far back she would have to go, and that they were more than happy to help her in her pursuit. The only catch was that it would take all four alicorns to perform the spell in order for it to work.

"In order for it to work, we need a lot of space, so would the fields outside the Everfree Forest work?" asked Twilight.

"Indeed, it's open and theirs less chance of accidently damaging anything", agreed both princesses.

Word was sent for Cadence to meet them at once, as they headed to the fields and Spike headed back to Twilight's Castle. Once they gathered, they waited on Cadence to arrive and discussed where they should stand, and for how long Twilight would have once she made it back in time before the spell would wear off and return her back to her own time. A short time later, Cadence arrived and they informed her about the spell and how it was to be performed.

"Twilight, are you sure you want to try this?" Cadence asked, "I know you're strong but this is going to be a difficult spell even for the four of us to hold."

"I know, but I want to know what happened to him, I have to know," Twilight replied.

Cadence smiled knowing that the determination in Twilight can't be stopped, and when she puts her mind to something, she's going to attempt it in one way or another. They continued to go over the spell to memorize it.

"Are you ready to attempt it, Twilight?" asked Celestia.

"I think so, but I'm nervous," she replied, "What if I don't find out, what if I go too far back, or not far enough?"

"You'll be fine, Twilight," Luna said trying to comfort her; "If there is any pony that I know that could do this, it's you Twilight Sparkle."

Celestia and Cadence nodded in agreement, and Twilight now brimming with confidence was ready to attempt the spell. They took their places in a star pattern across from each other with Celestia and Luna at the north and south points, and Twilight stood across from Cadence at the east and west position respectively. As they began the spell a strange, cold wind began to stir and the clouds began to swirl.

Meanwhile Rayne and Ralph were heading down US 52 towards their new home. Ralph was in the lead, and they kept communication through a set of walkie-talkies to just pass the time and not have to mess with their phones. They both had their radios on and listening to whatever they had on their mp3s at the time, when slowly the wind began to blow, turning cold and the clouds began to swirl as well.

"Hey Ralph, you seein this?" Rayne called out on his walkie.

"Yea, it's odd, just came out of nowhere," Ralph replied.

"It didn't call for freaky weather today did it?" Rayne chipped off in a joking tone, as lightning began to flash across the sky.

"No, crazy ass weather leading up to the apocalypse wasn't in the forecast."

As they continued on, the lighting began to strike the ground around them getting closer with every strike.

They pushed harder, trying to get the spell to bring up the portal to send Twilight back and as they did lightning started to strike around them as well.

"Come on just alil more," strained Twilight trying to make the portal open.

A flash of lighting struck directly in the center of the group, sending out a shockwave and opening the portal.

Lighting struck the asphalt and out of nowhere a portal glowing of colors from a rainbow opened not even 50ft from Ralph's car, and at 60 miles an hour, that went by fast.

"SHIT, SHIT, SHIT!" Ralph yelled ripping through the portal, hard on the brakes with Rayne right behind him, whom was shifting down and jamming on the brakes as hard as he could, causing his car to spin sideways through the portal.

As the two burst through the now open portal into Equestria, Ralph went straight through, passing between Celestia and Cadence, while Rayne came through almost completely backwards, desperately trying to regain control of his beloved little car on extremely slick grass.

"Come on, come on straighten out, damn it," he begged under his breath, and seeing the four alicorns freaking out, as his car spun around.

The girls let out a scream of fear like nothing any pony has ever heard at the noise and sudden appearance of the large red and black beasts. They could no longer hold the portal's stability, and just as suddenly as it appeared, it was now closed. Further down the field Ralph had managed to stop far enough away from the strange ponies, and Rayne had finally gotten his car straightened out and stopped beside Ralph's.

"Did we just….?" asked Rayne.

"Yea," Ralph said calmly, "Did they have…?"

"Yea they did, and they screamed like…?"

"Yea," Ralph responded, "We should get moving before they do."

They took off trying to find a road or path of any kind to the nearby forest in order to put distance between them and the ponies. The girls on the other hoof were regrouping and trying to figure out what just happened.

"What were those things?" asked Cadence, looking at the gouge marks Rayne had left as his car spun around, "Their hoof prints are so strange."

"I'm not sure but, Twilight, that wasn't a time spell," replied Celestia.

**So hows the first chapter? Any questions IM us or leave a review please and thankyou. Brohoof.**


	2. Your Car Is too Loud

"Twilight, I know your heart was in the right place, but I am concerned about the beast's in which we have just released into Equestria," Celestia sternly noted to her fellow princess, "Not only that but, that spell was a Trans-Dimensional Portal Spell, not a time spell. Where did you even find this?"

"Princess Celestia, I am so sorry," Twilight replied quietly, her ears laid back and she was trying not to cry as they walked back towards Ponyville. "I found it in the Royal Library, in the Starswirl the Bearded Wing."

"You know that some of the spells in that wing are very powerful, and sometimes miss labeled," Celestia replied. "Even so, we need to find out what those things are and where they went."

"Sister, I shall have the royal guard search the area," Luna said as she flew ahead to request the guards.

"Indeed, thank you Luna," Celestia replied.

Meanwhile, the two brothers had found a place in the Everfree Forest to duck their cars into for cover. Checking to insure that they were not being pursued, Rayne had takin up a post on the ground while Ralph took to the trees for better visibility.

"See anything up there?" Rayne called up.

"No, I guess they didn't want to bother chasing us, after the scare we gave them," he called back, climbing down the tree.

"So, what do we do now?"

"Well, let's set up a camp for the time being, try to figure out where the hell we are, and try to make sense of what just happened."

As the two headed back to their cars, the thought dawned on Ralph about Rayne's car. It's loud. Obviously so and stealth was now the game plan. He hated having to do it but, he had to bring it up.

"Rayne, you need to baffle your exhaust," Ralph said, looking straight at the muffler on the Eclipse.

"And pray tell me why on earth would I do that?" Rayne asked in a rather sarcastic tone; "I hate that baffled, raspy, crap sound that it makes."

"Dude, come on, we need to not be noticed and your car kinda defeats the purpose of that right now."

"I am not putting that damned thing on my car," Rayne shot back, glaring at Ralph.

"Look, Dorothy, we aren't in Kansas anymore, so put that thing on or we're walking on the trips too."

Rayne rather pissed off now about the fact that he'd have to install the one thing that he vowed he would never put on his car, was now pacing back and forth. He would occasionally stop and glare at Ralph, then start his silent pacing. Eventually he stopped, and walked to his car opening the hatch. He fiddled around for a moment and pulled the baffle out.

"I'll put the stupid thing on but I don't have to like it," Rayne muttered coldly, while not looking forward to the evening ahead.

As the guards searched the area around the field, they could only find where the tracks that lead to a path. Anything beyond that was untraceable due to the path being pretty solid and leaving no prints in the dirt. Some of the guards took to the sky to see if the beasts might still be out in the open. Celestia waited patiently for news from them, and discussed with Twilight and the others what to do when they capture the red and black beasts.

"We must find out where they came from, and whether or not they are hostile," Luna said, looking to the others.

"We also need to figure out a way to send them back," added Cadence.

"Unfortunately that's going to be a bit of a problem," Celestia chimed in; "We can't send them back."

In an awkward silence they stood together faced with this new info. The beasts would not be leaving once they were found, but instead to be imprisoned in the royal jail. She explained that if they were to be able to poses the knowledge of Equestria and its weaknesses, they could quiet possibly come back and attack it if they were sent back to the land that they came from with beasts as big as, or bigger than they were.

"Agreed, they will be captured and held in the dungeons," Twilight nodded.

When a few of the guards reported in that no sign had been found of the beasts, the group agreed that it would be best to start looking for them in them morning. As the princesses headed back to where they had come, Twilight looked back out to the fields from her balcony on the castle. She swore she saw a small fire, flickering in the Everfree Forest.

The next morning Rayne got up before the sun rose. He was hungry and beef jerky wasn't going to cut it. He decided to go out on his own while Ralph slept. He strapped his swords to his back, grabbed one of his daggers, and headed out, staying with-in the tree line. A few hours later, Ralph awoke to the sound of Rayne rummaging through the trunk of his car.

"Damn, man, why didn't you wake me?" he asked, rubbing the sleet out of his eyes.

"I think I can handle being alone, besides, I found breakfast," Rayne replied rather proud of himself.

In front of Ralph was a bag full of apples redder than Rayne's car.

"Where did you find these?"

"In that apple orchard over there," Rayne said pointing off in the direction of the orchard.

He told Ralph about the orchard and that there was a house on it and that he made absolutely sure that he wasn't spotted. He only took 10 apples, knowing that he wouldn't want someone to take more than they needed from him. The apples were crisp, sweet, ripe, and delicious, and they didn't last long.

"Right then, we need to find out where we are and if there is any towns nearby," Ralph said still chewing on one of his apples.

Rayne just nodded, grabbed his gear, locked his car and waited for Ralph to do the same. As soon as he had his gear together, the two set out in search of a town. Rayne had observed that a path from the farm could be seen heading to what he thought might be a town just north of their position by about 4 miles. So they headed due north not knowing what to expect.

Twilight woke shortly after the sun rose, not waking Spike and started out on her own to the field where she and the other Princesses had their encounter. The guards that went with her assured her that they truly found nothing and that this was a waste of time. She asked if any of them had searched the forest, but even they said that if anything strange had been in those woods, Zecora would be the first to know. Reluctantly she decided to go back and re-read the spell she learned and its limits.

As the guys neared a town, they could make out the buildings, and the closer they got they could see the pony-folk out and about in the town.

"Oh great, more talking ponies I bet," Ralph said sarcastically pointing from the cover of the tree they had taken refuge behind, less than 200 yards from the edge of the town.

Rayne was about to make a remark to that when they heard a blood curdling scream, and then observed all the ponies running and screaming in a panic to their homes. They looked at each other with the same look that said time to run. Before they did, they saw a pony cowering in fear against a building with a giant wooden creature baring its teeth at it.

"Ah shit," Rayne uttered as he reacted on a spur of the moment bravery, unsheathing both swords and making a run straight at the creature.

The Timber Wolf was about to lunge at Sapphire Mist, when out of nowhere another creature struck the beast, knocking it to the ground. The one that had saved her turned, raised her head so their eye's met, and said "your safe, now run." As she did, she heard the creature cry out pain and turned to see the Timber Wolf slash at the brave one, drawing blood from it as well as it saying words she's never heard before. It looked grim to her, as she took cover in Rose Luck's house, not knowing if the brave one would be able to stand against the Timber Wolves alone.


	3. This Only Happens In Games and Movies!

As Rayne reeled in pain from the slash across his arm, he fell backwards dropping his swords, not noticing the green ooze on his wound. While he cursed the creature's existence and the fact that it had dug its claws into him, he now found himself face to snout at the mercy of the Timber Wolf. Looking up at it with its mouth wide open oozing green sap , glowing green eyes, and putrid breath rolling out, he just kind of accepted what might happen, not knowing where Ralph was or whether or not he was going to help him.

"Almost there," Ralph whispered to himself; "Gotcha."

Just as it raised its giant wooden paw to swipe at him again and letting out an almost pleased snarl, the sound of a single shot rang out through Ponyville, and Rayne watched as the wolf fell to pieces. The hole through its head was a more or less Ralph's way of making an entrance.

"It's about time, asshole," Rayne said as Ralph walked over to help him back onto his feet.

"Hey, I had to get a good shot," He chipped off pulling Rayne up; "Besides no one told you to rush in alone, plus I only got one clip on me."

At Twilights Castle, the guards were on alert due to the sudden appearance of the Timber Wolves. She addressed the guards to begin trying to calm the citizens of Ponyville and to direct them to safety. As she made her way down to the gates to investigate, hearing the panic from everypony, a sound she'd never heard before rang out through town.

"What in Equestria was that!?" She exclaimed as she headed for the sounds.

Making her way through town and the chaos, her faithful friends came rushing up to her, freaking out and trying to figure out where and why the wolves were attacking the town and what that sound was.

"It ain't natural; them wolves usually stick to the Everfree Forest," AppleJack said, "What in tarnation would make them come here?"

"I agree darling, those scoundrels never come to town unless they've been provoked," stated Rarity, stamping a hoof.

"Seriously, and what was that noise?" asked Rainbow Dash.

"I don't know, but it could have to do with what happened yesterday," Twilight replied, "Come on girls, I'll explain it on the way."

Ralph was more than happy now, he had something to hunt and destroy. As the duo headed off to the next wolf, Rayne tossed one of his swords to Ralph, telling him that it'd be best to conserve ammo just in case things go wrong. He shook his head at Rayne, mocking his gunmanship and lack of faith in his own. As they rounded a corner, a pair of wolves was charging at them. Ralph, with a wicked grin told Rayne he had this one, went forth and chopped one of the beast's legs off. Before it hit the ground, he had already spun around and dug the sword into its head, thrusting it down, pinning it to the ground causing it to crumble.  
>Meanwhile Rayne, whom was beginning to feel weak, went for the second one. He and the wolf were essentially playing chicken as they charged one-another. He swung his sword taking a leaf ear and a massive chunk out of the wolf, all while taking a deep hit from the wolf's claws to his bad leg, sending him down on one knee. The wolf, turned and leapt into the air for the second attack, and that's where it had made its mistake. Ralph appeared out of nowhere, thrusting the sword down its gapping gullet, and using its momentum to his advantage, he swung the wooden beast over his shoulder, slamming it to the ground, shattering the beast. Ralph turning to see how his brother was could see the damage.<p>

"Dude, your bleeding," Ralph said looking at Rayne's wounds, "We don't have to keep fighting; you look like you're about to clock out."

The Timber Wolves had poisonous sap in their claws and teeth, which when introduced into its prey's blood stream would cause loss of balance, focus, nausea, and eventually knocking its prey unconscious. Due to the wounds he was suffering, Rayne was feeling ever weaker, and began to lose focus.

"I'm alright bro, I got this," Rayne replied, his words slurring; "I ain't about to let you have all the fun." Pushing himself up, he looked at Ralph's handy work. "Is that all of them?" As their luck would have it a forth wolf appeared from behind one of the buildings.

"All right! Last one dude." Ralph smirked getting ready for it to charge like a previous one did. But the brothers couldn't believe what was happening again. The Timber Wolf let out a deeper howl and all the wooden parts from the other three began floating to the forth one making bigger. "Oh come on this only happens in video games and horror movies!" Ralph raged.

Twilight and her friends arrived just as the Timber Wolf absorbed its friend's bodies. "Oh no!" Twilight gasped seeing with her own eyes two mysterious creatures taking on a Super Timber Wolf. "Lets stay out of sight girls. I think they have it covered." Fluttershy squeaked out shaking terribly. "Ah agree with her Twi. That aint no ordinary Timber Wolf, and we have no Elements of Harmony." AppleJack nudging Twilight to a nearby house.

"Oh we can take him! Give'em a left and a right, and some magic and BAM! We're done." Rainbow Dash hovered in air a few inches off the ground shoving her front hoofs out like she's boxing some pony. "Enough lets hide and watch. We don't know anything about those creatures." Twilight yelled out in her decision rushing to the empty house.

As they looked on from the house, they could see the mysterious creatures wielding swords. To their amazement, the one handed the other its' sword and pulled out a small black item. Twilight, ever curious was almost pressing her face against the window in an effort to see what it was. As she stared harder at the two, the realization hit her. They're humans, like the ones that she met in the alternate Equestria when she chased after Sunset Shimmer and her crown.

"What's the plan?" Rayne asked, holding the swords down at either side, waiting to charge the Super Wolf. Ralph just shook his head, checked his clip, and looked over at his ever weakening comrade.

"Remember that one attack we worked on for a few weeks?" Ralph asked; "You know, the one where I almost shot you?"

"I hate you right now," Rayne said as he looked over at Ralph readying himself, "If I can hold up long enough, this will be one hell of an attack."

"Amen," Ralph said, cocking his gun. They began sprinting straight at the wolf, Rayne leading.

As they ran towards it, the wolf was taking great bounds up the street, almost as if to meet them half-way. They were within attack range when Rayne dug his swords into the ground and leaning down for Ralph to use him as a platform to launch himself high into the air. Round after round fired into the muzzle of the great wolf, but did nothing to slow or stop it. The beast merely reached one of its mighty paws out and swiped Ralph out of the air, dragging its claws across his chest, and sending him crashing to the ground. Even so, Rayne stuck to the plan, spinning around and using the momentum to try and take a leg off the beast with both swords, but unable to grip them firmly they were knocked from his hands. Their attack was meant to be used on a group of attackers, not a single, giant one.

The ponies watched on, rooting for the mysterious strangers, whom were fighting for their town. Sapphire Mist could barely contain her excitement as she watched them attack it, and yet she worried for them, knowing that the one that saved her didn't have much time before he would succumb to the poison. Twilight was beginning to second guess herself now, watching the two taking on the fearsome beast alone with no magic and growing tired from the battle.

Ralph, dazed from the hit, feeling the fresh wound, stood up. As he made his way back to try and start the attack again he watched as Rayne's swords were knocked out of his hands, sending them and him to the ground. Ralph couldn't take it anymore, grabbing one of the swords as it came to rest near him, and he charged again letting out a growl that turned into a yell.

The wolf turning to see him jumped straight at him and with one fell swoop, picked Ralph up in his mouth and planned on swallowing him whole. Rayne, looking around, with his focus going in and out, watched in horror as his best friend was swallowed. Staggering to his feet, he found one of his swords, and was about to charge when he noticed something was off about the beast. It's movement was erratic, almost frantic.


	4. I Aint Got Nobody to Love Me

**Hello readers and fellow writers. We continuously work on the story when we can. We try to update once a week but please bear in mind that we have a lot of things on our plate. Sooooo enjoy the next chapter kids.**

The Super Timber Wolf was shaking its head as hard is it could, its mouth slightly open, trying to cough up something in its mouth. In a last ditch effort, Ralph had managed to dig the sword into the roof of its mouth and was now holding on for dear life with his feet firmly planted against its tongue so's not to be swallowed.

"HELP ME DAMNIT!" screamed Ralph from inside its mouth, as he began firing rounds at the top of the beasts head and down its throat. Looking frantically out of the mouth of the wolf for Rayne to appear somewhere, he struggled to keep ahold of the sword with the sap dripping all over him. Rayne was trying to figure a way to help him when the thought dawned on him: Ralph still smokes.

"RALPH, RALPH, GIVE ME YOUR LIGHTER!" he yelled up at the beasts' mouth, hearing the gun shots as it swung its head violently around trying to loosen both Ralph and the sword from its mouth.

"AND WHAT THE HELL GOOD IS THAT GOING TO DO?" he yelled back in between shots, "NOW'S NOT EXACTLY THE TIME TO TAKE UP MY BAD HABBITS RAYNE! SERIOUSLY, HELP ME!"

"JUST TRUST ME!" Rayne shouted back. Ralph, trusting his friend and hearing the unnerving click of death from his gun, reached in his pocket, grabbed his lucky zippo, and threw it out its mouth right when he was in sight of Rayne. Landing a few feet from him, Rayne stumbled to it and began his plan. He had grabbed some straw that had been knocked loose from one of the houses roof, bunched it together and then lit it. The straw being rather dry lit quickly. Staggering towards the wolf, Rayne went underneath the beast, lighting it on fire all along its belly and feet. He just managed to get clear of the giant burning beast before collapsing.

Ralph could smell it burning, and knew it was time to go. Holstering his gun and with all the strength he could muster, he pulled the sword from its mouth because God knows he'd never hear the end of it from Rayne, watched for the opportune moment, and leapt out as the beast began to slowly burn and fall apart around him. In a frenzied panic the wolf was still thrashing about, trying to put its self out but to no avail. Ralph rolled when he hit the ground, turning so he could watch the beast burn to the ground.

"Alright Rayne," he smiled right before he passed out from the gash and poisonous sap that covered his whole body.

"They did it," Twilight said in disbelief as she watched the wolf burn to ash. She and her friends moved from the house outside to where Rayne and Ralph now laid, trying to figure out who the two mysterious humans were and how they had gotten here.

"They're hurt and unconscious," Fluttershy noted worriedly as she looked them each over, "I know we don't know them, but we owe it to them to help them."

"Well yea, they took on a Timber Wolf Behemoth," Pinkie Pie replied excitedly, then using her hoofs to "quote", "I mean how rude would it be to just say "Hey thanks for saving our town, see ya later" and not help them? I mean, yea sure we could have helped them but hey they had it covered, besides, Twilight had a plan all along if they hadn't, right Twilight?"

Twilight, deep in thought, didn't even answer the question; instead she merely used a spell to gingerly pick Ralph up, while Rarity did the same to Rayne, and proceeded to the hospital.

The next evening Ralph came too first, while Nurse Sweet Heart was tending his bandages when he started looking around. He went to move but could feel the restraints around his arms and legs. He could also feel the tightness of his chest from the bandages around his torso. Fearful of him, she backed away slowly, unsure as to what he would do to her if she stayed close to the bed.

"Where's Rayne?" he asked, coldly and calmly looking her dead in the eyes.

"T-t-the other o-one?" she stammered, "H-h-he's in t-t-the other wing."

"Where are we?"

"Y-y-you're in the P-Ponyville Hospital, you were brought here by Princess Twilight Sparkle," Nurse Sweet Heart squeaked out as she backed herself to the wall still shaking in fear. Ralph didn't pay it any mind.

"Why am I strapped to the bed like I'm a prisoner?" Ralph's voice slightly rising. Being tied down pissed him off and being nice right now was hard.

"I-it was by order of Princess Twilight that you would remain r-restrained to your bed until she has a talk with y-you." The last part was barely audible. Her eyes where shut tight expecting him to break the restraints and attack her. Ralph breathed in deeply knowing what's about to come up next.

"You can relax I'm not going to attack you or anything. I can barely move right now," he said as he giggled the restraints. This did make her relax a bit. "You wouldn't mind getting the Princess so we can get this over with would ya?" Ralph asked attempting a smile though the anger and pain.

"I can. They'll be here soon when I send her a message." Nurse Sweet Heart used this chance to leave the room quickly. "What the hell does she mean by "they"?"

In the other wing Rayne woke up to the sound of someone outside the room he was in. "Where the hell am I?" He mumbled. Trying to get up he found restraints on his arms and legs. His injured arm had been tended to, as well as the injury on his leg, and the restraint on his arm and leg was barely far enough away from the wound. "Well great. Hey is anybody there? Ralph? Hello? Somebody hear me?" He called out trying to get anybody's attention, but no one responded. A few minutes later Nurse Redheart came trotting in pushing a cart with bandages on it. She had just stopped and was about to start checking the wound on his leg when he spoke.

"Excuse me?" Rayne asked, causing her to jump back, "But, where is my friend Ralph and where am I?" She almost fainted from the scare he gave her, but she managed to hold herself together to answer him. "He's in the East Wing, you're in the West Wing of the Ponyville Hospital, and Princess Twilight Sparkle and her friends brought you and your friend here," she replied looking at him from a few feet away, waiting to see if he was going to lash out at her.

"Oh, I see," he said in his usual calm tone, "So who are you and why am I restrained to the bed?"

"I'm Nurse Redheart, and it was Princess Twilight's orders for you both to be restrained to your beds till you awoke," she said to him, moving slightly closer to him, "I need to change the bandage on your leg now, so if you'll please just hold still I'll be done in few minutes. Then I'll inform the guard that you're awake." She proceeded to the bed side, lifting the blanket off his right leg and kept an eye on him. Rayne, not wanting to show her any reason to distrust him, did the best he could to lift his leg up with the restraint on so she could change the bandage out. She heard him groan in pain, and could tell he wasn't going to threaten her. She changed it out, making sure not to tighten it down to tight, and discarded the old bandage which was covered in blood and poison sap. "You can lower your leg back down," she said with a smile, pulling the blanket back over it, but not before loosening the strap on his arm and leg a little, "That should ease the pain some."

"Thank you, Nurse, you're very kind" he said before she left, causing her to blush. She stopped just outside the door informing the guards posted there that he wasn't a threat and was awake for the time being. They thanked her and sent her on her about her duties. One of the guards entered the room, looking at Rayne with a cocked eyebrow and trying to figure out how he and Ralph had taken down a Super Timber Wolf.

"Can I ask you something?" Rayne asked looking at him in the same way.

"Go ahead," he nodded.

"What happens now?"

"We wait for the princesses to come and interrogate you and your friend," the guard replied, before turning and going back out the door, "Enjoy your evening."

"_Ohoo I aint got no body. To lovve mee. Oh somebody help me. Somebody to say we love you Ralph, but they don't. Ohoo …. Piss off." _Ralph sang a bit loud knowing he had guards outside his door and was hoping to annoy them. Boredom had taken its toll on him so he tried to find ways to amuse himself until his door opened and six ponies of different kinds trotted in. Ralph looked at them noticing one had wings and a horn, one with just a horn, two with just wings, and two with no wings or horns.

"I hope you don't sing like that all the time." The blue one said while the pink, white, and bright orange rolled on the floor laughing. Only the purple and yellow ponies didn't laugh seeing the anger and a bit of hate radiating off of Ralph.

"Which one of you _ponies_ is the all high and mighty Princess Twilight Sparkle?" he asked in, a low growl pointing at them. They were taken aback by his rudeness and fowl temper.

**Please leave a review or PM, we'd like to know what you think about our work. **


	5. The Good Feathers

**Thank you guys for your reviews and heres the next chapter.**

"Why that isn't any way to treat ladies who have just walked in, it's quiet rude of you," stated the white, horned pony.

"Oh really now, then tell that one there, she's rude to crack jokes about someone who's strapped to a bed and waiting on some princess to explain to him why the hell he's being held here," Ralph shot back at her causing her to take a few steps back.

"Now just a minute there feller, she didn't mean nuthin by it, she was joking," piped up the orange normal pony stepping forward, "Why not just the both of you apologize and move on?"

"Apologize, to her, your full of shit," Ralph snapped at her, "You came in here, I didn't ask you to nor do I want to be here. Just tell me why I'm being held here against my will!"

The tension was so thick; you could cut it with a knife. They all stared at him, and he glared back.

"Umm, excuse me, why don't we all start over, and let Twilight go first," Fluttershy said quietly from behind the door, looking over at Twilight who nodded in agreement.

"I'm Princess Twilight Sparkle, and I ordered the restraints," she said boldly, stepping towards the bed, "And I'll have you respect my friends and I, as we are the reason you're both in the Hospital being cared for."

Ralph just glared at her before saying in a cold tone, "If you're the reason, then you saw what we did for your town, princess." He was trying to sit up a little, but the pain and the restraints kinda hindered that.

"Indeed I did, and I am grateful, but you and your friend showed combat abilities that made the citizens extremely nervous," she replied as calmly as she could, moving just beside the bed, "I had to insure that you two were of no threat to us."

"Rayne risked his life for one of your "citizens"," he said to her, his voice rising, "Or does that mean trust us even less?" He was beginning to get even more irritated, his patience was wearing thin.

"Noooo, it means he needs a medal, oh ooh and a party!" Pinkie Pie chimed in.

"Umm Pinkie Pie, now's not exactly the time for, you know, parties," Dashie suggested as everyone, including Ralph, just looked at her.

"Sapphire Mist informed me of this, and extends her thanks to you both. But I need to know, who are you?" Twilight asked, growing impatient, "And more importantly, are you with the two beasts that came through the portal the other day?"

Meanwhile, in the East Wing of the Hospital, Rayne was bored to tears and decided to rave in his room.

"_I know this pretty rave girl, I always think about her, when she says hi to me, butterfly's go right through me, and when I see her dancing, I wanna take a chance in getting a little closer and maybe get to know her" _Rayne was singing, not too loud but the guards could hear him and were tapping their hoofs to the beat he while he tapped on the side of his bed, _"I want to find a girl like you, cause you're the girl for me it's true, when I dream I dream of you, and everything that we could do. You're on my mind all day and night; my feelings grow stronger with time, now my heart beats just for you, I only hope you feel it too." _He had just finished singing when the door opened and both guards came in.

"Their Royal Majesties, Princess Celestia and Princess Luna have arrived," the guard on his right announced to him, as the one on the left picked up where he left off, "They wish to speak with you on the matters that happened in town and as well as where you are from."

Rayne just looked at them, kinda blankly because he was bored and tired, but he did acknowledge them addressing him by nodding his head. "By the way," the guard that had spoken to him earlier said politely, "Nice tune, you should meet the local DJ. She might have some music to go with that song." With a smile and slight nod, he turned and exited the room with the other guard, taking up his post as the princesses walked in.

Unable to contain his boredom and sarcasm at the moment, Rayne looked up and said "Hey look, it's the Good Feathers" though it came out a little louder than he wanted. They both looked at him in a way that said to be quiet.

"I am Princess Celestia, and with my sister, Princess Luna here, we rule over Equestria," a large white pony with wings and a horn said as she introduced herself, "I'm curious as to how you and your friend came to our lands and how you defeated the Timber Wolves."

"Well, your highnesses, my name is Rayne, and we were brought here by a random portal," Rayne replied, being as courteous as he could, "I remember seeing you both there. We kinda scared you all when we came sliding through in our cars." Rayne answered her question.

"What …. your cars …. Were those two beasts you and your friend?" Luna was now mere inches from Rayne's face with curiosity, fear, and excitement written all over her face. "Yes. Um ma'am, personal space please." Luna realized how close she was to him. A slight blush she retreated next to her sister with her head down.

"Well Rayne, what are you exactly?" Celestia asked another question to better understand the … somepony in front of her. "I'm a human, or Homo Saipan." He was polite and courteous for now but the more questions she asked the more Rayne was getting annoyed. This also didn't go unnoticed by Celestia. Without notice Celestia used her magic to unstrap Rayne from his bed paying close attention to the wounds on his arm and leg. "Thank you." Rayne stretched his arms carefully not to hurt his arm and leg.

"Sister, are you sure that's a good idea?" Luna looked at her sister worriedly. "It's fine Luna. He's a good um, stallion. He will help our little ponies should they need it in their time of need."

As Rayne sat there looking at them, a goofy grin on his face, he began to wonder, "Excuse me, Princess Celestia, but where are my swords?"

"They are being stored at Princess Twilight's Castle here in Ponyville," she assured him, "You may retrieve them and Ralph's belongings there."

Ralph on the other hand was not having such a good time with his guests, and after many insults to the group, it began to wear on him. His chest was killing him and these ponies weren't making matters any better. "Yes for the last damn time those beasts are not animals but machines used for transportation and recreation." He let out a painful sigh. "Look here's the bottom line; we're not here to hurt anyone. We just went through some stupid portal when lightning struck the road and ended up here." He looked in Twilight's eyes not hiding anything.

"Well now, that wasn't so bad was it?" Twilight asked confidently. "But you still need to apologize to us for being rude." He let out another deep sigh. "Mmmm sorry for being rude, and calling you stupid, dumb, crazy, and smelly. I'm just in a lot of pain and waking up tied to a bed is something I wasn't expecting." Ralph looked at each of the ponies in front of him when he listed the insults. "Would someone please take these things off me? I gotta go use the bathroom."

All of the mares huddled together. "I think he's said enough. We should let him go. He's only being rude because he's in a lot of pain," Fluttershy started first. "Why yes the poor thing _IS_ hospitalized," Rarity added. "I don't know if he'll like the party I was going to through for him and his friend," Pinky Pie said sadly. "I guess we could let him out of the bed. I know what it's like to be tied to a bed in the hospital," Rainbow Dash smiled at Twilight. "Ya weren't tied to a bed Rainbow Dash. Ya broke your wing and stayed fer a few days," AppleJack frowned at Rainbow Dash. "Ok then its settled. We'll let him out of the restraints," Twilight said in agreement. The six mares **went** to it undoing Ralph's restraints.

"You promise not to be mean to anypony for the rest of your time here?" Rainbow Dash asked squinting her eyes. "Yes already!" With that he was free from his bed. Slowly rising up and sliding his feet off the bed Ralph managed to stand next to the bed. "Ok where's that bathroom, I gotta go."

As he stood there looking down, the thought dawned on him, "By the way, where's my clothes?"

"I have them darling, they were tattered and so was your friends, so I'm fixing them good as new at my boutique," Rarity replied.

They departed his room, informing the guards to insure he stayed in his room the rest of the night. While walking through the halls they came across Celestia and Luna.

"How did your interrogation of the one known as Ralph go Twilight?" asked Luna, in a rather chipper tone.

"He's rude, but he did cooperate," she replied, exhausted from it all, "And how did Rayne treat you?"

"He is a very polite human, so quiet yet very reserved," replied Celestia, "In the morning they will be discharged, and I would like you all to accompany them."

"We're to what?" the girls replied in unison.

**There we are go folks. R&R.**


	6. Oh God, Not Them Again

**Hello readers. Time to enjoy another chapter of our unfortunate events.**

The next morning Rayne was greeted by one cheery Nurse Redheart bringing in his clothes from the other day that have been cleaned and repaired. "You're being discharged soon," saying as she gently sat them down at the foot of his bed.

"Thank you Nurse Redheart," Rayne replied as he couldn't wait to get his clothes on. Getting up off the bed he grabbed his clothes and hurriedly put them. As he stood there in his fresh clothes, he noticed the quality of the stitch work, and the attention to detail, "Who fixed my clothes?"

"That would be Rarity; she runs Carousel Boutique, the towns exclusive outfit shop."

As she trotted out, she looked back and smiled at him. Meanwhile, in Ralph's room Nurse Sweetheart was dropping his clothes off to him. She knew he wasn't a threat, but she was still uncertain about him.

"Excuse me, but I'm here to drop off your clothes," she said calmly, and quickly, "They're fresh from Miss Rarity."

Ralph just looked at her as she laid his clothes on the bed and in his usual nonchalant tone, "Ok. Thanks." He gathered them up, slid out of the bed, and got dressed right in front of her being mindful of only his bandages. She couldn't help but watch how he dressed, as she was curious but Ralph paid her no mind. He just wanted out of that hospital.

"By the way, Princess Twilight and her friends are here to escort you," she said while making a rather quick exit.

"Oh God no, not them again," Ralph said, rather annoyed by this.

He walked out of his room, looking at the guards who were now waiting to escort him to the main door. While they walked along in silence he couldn't help but laugh on the inside on how obedient they were in sticking to their job of watching him. "So, enjoy my little song yesterday?" he asked rather sarcastically. One of them chortled in response but for the most part remained silent, "Ah, since you loved it so much, I shall sing it again."

"No," the guard behind him replied bluntly.

As they continued in silence it wasn't long before they ran into Rayne, chatting it up with the guards that were escorting him.

"BRO!" Rayne exclaimed when he saw his best friend, "Man am I glad to see you, thought you were a goner."

"Come on, I'm too stupid to die, you know that man," Ralph said, fist bumping Rayne who just laughed at his comment, "So, laughing boy, enjoying yourself?"

"Hey, come on. Their actually pretty cool when ya get to know'em, right guys?"

The two guards walking with Rayne agreed giving him a fist bump with their hoofs and continued talking, but then all the joking and laughter from them stopped almost immediately. Their mindset changed when they saw Twilight and the gang waiting at the front door.

"Presenting Rayne and Ralph, Princess Twilight Sparkle," the guard in the lead said, bowing.

Rayne, looking around and not wishing to be rude, gave a modest bow to her. Ralph on the other hand, gave a snort and just looked at her with much discontent and a cocked eyebrow.

"Thank you so much, you are dismissed," she said giving a gentle nod, then turning to the guys, "Now, Ralph… Rayne, if you'd please follow us; we have much to discuss while we show you around Ponyville."

As the gang walked through Ponyville, Twilight explained some things to them about the town and its residents. Before long Ralph was bored and decided now was as good a time as any to ask about their stuff.

"Can we go get our cars from the woods now?" he asked in an annoyed tone, interrupting her explanation of how things run, "And our weapons?"

The look on her face was that of disbelief. _"How could someone be so rude?"_ she thought to herself, but trying to be nice she brushed it off and replied, "We will go get your carriages right now if that's what you wish, besides I can tell only Rayne was interested in what I was saying." This was true, Rayne wanted to know how things operated since they were here for now. She decided that Applejack and she would accompany them to the woods while the rest of the gang headed back to the castle. As usual of Rayne, he started talking to the girls as they headed to the woods. Ralph just ignored it all, grateful that the walk wasn't long.

When they neared the cars, Twilight and AJ both got nervous upon seeing them. Their makeshift camp was centered between their cars and both the guys were thankful that none of the ponies removed their keys from their pockets. Twilight was lost in curiosity but as AJ got closer, everything about the cars disappeared when she noticed some apple cores lying around.

"Now hold on just a darn tootin' minute, where'd them apples come from?" AJ asked pointing at the cores, rather upset.

"Oh, I found them in an apple orchard not far from here," Rayne said, "I only took 10, but why do you ask?"

"You thievin scoundrel," she shot back, highly irritated, "You stole from Sweet Apple Acres! I'll have your hid for that!" She stomped his foot with her hoof causing him to jump and yell in much pain. "S'what ya get fer stealin." She was about to do it again, when Twilight stopped her.

"I don't think that's necessary AJ," Twilight said, her wing stretched out in front of AJ, "I think Rayne would gladly pay for them, right?" Rayne nodded as he hurriedly opened his door and got in his car. Ralph was busy laughing at the whole situation, getting his car unlocked while making fun of Rayne.

"I think you should let me crank up first, your car's a bit on the obnoxious side," he said while laughing at Rayne some more. Rayne nodded back in agreement. As Ralph's car rumbled to life, Twilight found herself both intrigued and scared by these machines. AJ on the other hoof was still upset, glaring at Rayne through his window. Ralph got back out of his car and looked at the two ponies, sizing them up to the cars, "Uh huh, yea, Princess Sparkle pants you'll have to ride with me, because you and your horn there won't fit in Rayne's car. He ain't got a sunroof." Twilight just rolled her eyes and sighed.

Rayne had just cranked his car up when he noticed that God awful sound from the exhaust. Ralph had never seen Rayne get out, pull the lever for the trunk release and get to the back of the Eclipse so fast. Fumbling around for a wrench, he found the right one and quickly went to work taking off the hated baffle. The three of them stood there watching Rayne, laughing at how fast he was working at getting it loose. At first girls didn't get it, the car sounded somewhat quiet, but when it did come off, then they noticed what Ralph meant by being "obnoxious". In the human world, Rayne's car sounds good (or at least to him it does – Ralph :P), like a rally car, but to the ponies, it sounded loud and beastly. Ralph almost split his wound open from laughing so hard at Rayne's reaction.

"Can we just get on with this?" Rayne asked, tossing the wrench and baffle back into the spare tire well with the rest of his belongings. He looked over at AJ and opened the door, gesturing her to get in. She glared at him as she stepped inside and sat down in the seat. Ralph did the same for Twilight, actually being nice about it and even showing her that the sunroof was open for her horn to stick up through. The same thought dawned on the guys: Safety belts.

Ralph looked over at Twilight who was going berserk, excitedly looking at all the new things before her, "Hey, Sparkle pants, I need to put this seat belt on you, so you don't get hurt if anything happens. And for the love of God, don't touch anything, and you might break it."

She looked at him, puzzled as he reached across her, brushing up against her, causing her to blush at the contact, grabbing the belt and pulling it around her till he could latch it. He then put his own on; informing her it was a safety precaution and to just chill out. He also started explaining why his car had a sunroof and he felt it would be more comfortable if she could sit up. And everything in the back seat was the rest of his belongings. Meanwhile in Rayne's car, it wasn't going so easy: racing harness.

"Um, Applejack, I need to put this on you to keep you safe in the car," Rayne said nervously.

She glared at him, still upset about the apples, but nodded and let him do what he needed to. He was bright red, as he reached up and grabbed the top harness. When he went to put it over her head, her hat got in the way and quietly he told her, "I need you to take your hat off please." She did, letting him slip the harness over her neck, his hand gently rubbing against her to guide into place. He grabbed the lower one off the floor which had the main buckle, latched it to the top one, reached over and grabbed the right one, latching it and then the left. He explained that he liked the 5point harness over the traditional 3point because it made him feel safer and more secure in his seat and car. Looking up at Ralph's car, he saw Ralph hold up his radio. Getting the idea Rayne grabbed his and turning it on.

"_Shall we_?" Ralph said over the radio's, proceeding to a path that lead back to Ponyville. "What in Equestria is that thing?" With wide eye's staring at his radio like a curious cat.

"It's a radio. A device use to talk with another person close by or at a great distance. "Ralph explained driving nice and smooth making sure he wasn't going to freak his passenger out or hit any unwanted ruts and roots in the path. "Oh I see, wow!" Twilight jumped when her door window went down. Ralph just laughed and smiled in her direction not taking his eyes off the path.

Rayne on the other hoof was not driving nice and smooth when he reached the edge of the forest passing Ralph's car up. "Um hey fella ya mind slowing down a little?" Applejack asked nervously. "Do you remember when you stomped my foot?" Rayne replied with a wicked grin. "Ummm ya." Applejack was scared at this point because she knew she was in for a rough ride when she felt the car go faster, get louder and the twisted look on Rayne's face.

**Ryane here hope you enjoyed this chapter. Now I'm gonna dubstep off in the night. R&R.**


	7. You broke him!

**Sorry for the delay mares and gentle coats. We had a rough week and an even rougher weekend. But here it is. Enjoy!**

Sliding to a stop in front of the others, Rayne let AJ's harness loose and opened her door. As Ralph rolled up beside him, Twilight disappeared and reappeared next to the girls, with a dis-hearted look on her face. Rarity noticed the state her two friends were in.

"Why AJ, what on earth happened to you dearie?" she asked, trotting up beside her.

"That feller made me sick," she stated as she tried to gain her bearings, "He was spinning that thing around in all directions and just makin a right mess of things."

"I didn't know they were yours, besides I offered to pay for them," Rayne shot back rather irritated as he hopped out of his car, glaring at AJ, "And you didn't have to stomp my foot."

The three of them began arguing, while Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie went to Twilights side.

"Hey Twilight, why do you look so upset?" Pinkie pie asked, bouncing over to her friend.

"I'm not, I just need to find out when Princess Celestia and Princess Luna are going to get here," she replied, pacing back and forth.

"No, she's upset alright, I yelled at her to stop touching my shit," Ralph said as he got out of his car, "And yea, she deserved it."

Just as they were all about to start arguing, Spike came running out of the castle. Happily he ran straight to Twilight. He was taken off guard by Ralph, Rayne and their cars.

"Twilight, the Princesses are here and they've been waiting for you," he said, "and who are they?"

"Not right now Spike," she replied, then turning to the guys, "We need to go in and hear what the princesses have to say."

"Whatever gets us out of here faster," Ralph replied, with Rayne nodding as he fell into step beside him.

As the four of them entered the castle, the guys were more interested in the castle and Spike than finding out what the princesses had to say. When they entered the main hall, they saw both princesses standing in front of thrones, awaiting their arrival. As soon as Twilight took her place beside Celestia, they proceeded. Rayne having already met the princesses gave a bow with Luna blushing as he smiled at her. Ralph just looked at them with a raised eyebrow, looking Celestia dead in the eyes.

"We would like to thank you both for your bravery, saving not only Sapphire Mist but Ponyville and all its residents," Celestia stated, "For that we are grateful."

"Indeed, we got word of Rayne stepping between the attacking Timber Wolf and Sapphire Mist, and she visited you in the hospital," Luna said, "Unfortunately you were both unconscious."

Rayne kinda snickered at that. Ralph was more or less waiting for them to tell them the real reason they wished to talk to them.

"I would like to ask a favor, or rather bestow an honor on you two," Celestia said, "I wish for you both to join the Equestrian Royal Guard. What do you say?"

"No way in hell, been there done that," Ralph stated letting a laugh out, "And your crazy to think he'll be apt to join your "military"."

"I have to agree your highness," Rayne said rather abruptly, "We just got here and just got out of the hospital. I'm not too sure at the moment it's the best idea."

"Oh, I see," she said dis-hearted, her ears laid down as she looked at the floor.

"Even so, the reason we called you here is to inform you about going home," Luna said, trying to get the discussion back on track.

"As you may be aware of, you were brought here by a trans-dimensional portal," Twilight said as she started to explain, "I was trying a spell to try to go back in time, but unfortunately I did not know it was a random portal spell."

"Wow, so you messed with forces you knew nothing about?" Ralph asked sarcastically, "Waaay to go."

"We misread the spell, and with the three of us and another powering the spell, it opened randomly in your world causing you to end up here in ours," Luna said, standing up in Twilights defense, "We did not know it was going to cause you such problems."

"Yes well, at least you know the spell and can get us home right?" Rayne asked enthusiastically.

"There is a problem with that you see," Luna said, speaking more or less to Rayne, "It was a random dimension spell."

"Meaning that we can never be sure that the portal will open to your world and the energy it took to perform the spell in the first place was far too great and it's dangerous for us to attempt again," Celestia said.

"Wait, so you had the nerve to ask us to join your guard knowing damn well we can't leave?" Ralph growled as he stepped forward.

"We had a life, family, jobs, and a lot of things going for us and now what? Do we just accept that we're stuck here?" Rayne asked losing his calm.

"I am truly sorry that this has caused you both such inconvenience, but this is the truth," Celestia stated standing up and walking towards the two.

"No, sorry doesn't even begin to cover it," Rayne said, turning and walking away.

"Great, you broke him, pissed me off, and why am I not surprised that this is your fault?" Ralph said, pointing directly at Twilight, who was in tears repeating she was sorry over and over. He turned and followed Rayne, lighting a smoke on the way through. Luna was about to go after them but Celestia put her wing out to block her.

"They need time sister," she said sadly and quietly, "We should let them calm down."

As the two made their way out of the castle, they came up on Sapphire Mist. She was waiting to meet them when they were done.

"Umm, excuse me," Sapphire said, in her sweet and quiet voice, "I wanted to thank you both…."

Her voice trailed off, and she could see the look on their faces. They didn't say anything to her and Rayne went to his car as Ralph went to his. Ralph cranked his up, turned up Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata and made his way out of Ponyville to be alone. Rayne just turned his stereo on, switched his tablet onto the music player and began listening to Deadmau5's strobe. Sapphire didn't know what to do, and when Twilight came out she decided to talk to her.

"Princess Twilight, I only wanted to thank them," she said, bowing down to her as she came up to her.

"It's alright Sapphire Mist, they just got upsetting news is all, they'll be ok," Twilight reassured her.

She just looked at Rayne's car, hearing the music coming from it. She didn't want to pursue it with him in such a fowl temperament so she decided to go to Sugar Cube Corner and wait for him to cool down.

Ralph parked his car on a hill looking out over the fields a Sweet Apple Acres. He rolled the windows down, turned the music up a bit, stepped out of the car and lit another smoke. Inhaling the cigarette's smoke he looked around.

"Screw my life," He muttered to himself, "We're always getting shitted on by someone." Listening to the sounds of a piano was the only thing keeping him somewhat calm.

Rayne rolled the windows down, closed his eyes, and relaxed with his chillstep that was turned up. He didn't see the white unicorn pony with a light and dark blue mane, and sunglasses that was none other than Vinyl Scratch walk up to his car and tap on the door with her hoof.

Not getting much of a response she tried again a little harder.

"What the hell," Rayne muttered, "Don't freakin tell me something's wrong with my car now."

She tried again once more, this time causing him to lean his seat up and look over at her. He just looked at her for a minute, watching her dance a little to the music.

"Can I help you?" he asked, calmly. She nodded her head yes, and then looked into the car, started dancing again and then looked into the car. "I'm guessing you like my music." She nodded her head yes very vigorously. "It's a song called Strobe by an artist named Deadmau5, in my world this is more or less a form of techno." She smiled from ear to ear. "If you'd like, you can hop in and listen to it," he said, smiling back at her, opening up the passenger door for her, and feeling like he had made a new friend in this world. Vinyl didn't hesitate to bolt around the car and hop in, minding her horn, and using her magic to close the door. Rayne laid his seat back down, closed his eyes, and let his mind drift off into the music again while Vinyl just watched him from behind her sunglasses.

Ralph was still standing outside his car, listening to his music when he heard a light thud on the ground behind him.

"What the hell?" Ralph turned around and was greeted by a grey pony with blond mane wings and a wall-eyed stare.

"Hi my names Derpy. I like to come here sometimes when I got a lot on my mind too," She smiled at him walking over to him and taking a seat next to him.

Taking one last drag of his cigarette before putting it out he told her, "You have no idea what's going on in my mind right now." Derpy scrunched her nose at the smell of the cigarette but stayed next to him anyway.

"Well every pony stays away from me because I cause accidents and I just don't know what goes wrong," She reached in her saddle bag and pulled out two muffins, "Want a chocolate chip muffin?" she asked, holding one up to Ralph in a friendly gesture. Raising an eyebrow and taking a quick look around, he took the muffin. He hadn't had one of these in years and for once since they had arrived, somepony wasn't asking anything of him but to share a muffin.

"Thanks," he replied eating it.

"I love muffins. So um what's your name?" She asked, finishing her muffin and looking up at his face. Ralph looked down at her not knowing which eye he should pay attention to so he looked back out at the fields. "Ralph." He wondered, what exactly she could do so bad for them to treat her differently. Sure she couldn't see straight but he didn't figure they'd be like the people from his world.

"I need to head back to town now, bye Ralph," she said, getting ready to take flight.

"You want a ride?" Ralph asked, casually.

"Really? You mean it?" she replied, excitedly.

"Sure, but for the love of all things sacred to me, don't touch anything in my car."

"Ok," she said with a huge smile, trotting back to him as he opened the passenger door for her.

**So what do you guys think about it. R&R.**

S


	8. Did ya find your girlfriend?

**Hello readers. We have been working on a few things. **

Ralph just got back to Twilight's Castle, noticing Rayne's car was still in the same place he left him in. But he noticed that there was a pony in his car now, unlike when he left. Curious, he rolled up beside the car and looked in. Vinyl looked over at him and smiled, then went back to listening to the music, bobbing and nodding her head to the beat, meanwhile Rayne was snoozing in the driver seat. Ralph being who he is; got the idea in his head to prank his best friend.

"Hey," he said trying to get Vinyl's attention without waking Rayne, "Hey, whatever your name is, lean over top of him."

She just looked at him, raising an eyebrow behind her glasses, looking down at Rayne then looking back at Ralph.

"Please, come on, it'll be funny," he said, desperately trying to convince her as he got out of his car and walked up beside the Eclipse. Derpy, not knowing how to get out of the car decided it would be best of her to just sit there till he let her out and watched what Ralph was doing.

Vinyl hesitated but shrugged and leaned over Rayne looking down at his face, his goatee had her attention as well as the fact that as he slept he had a sad look on his pale face. She was curious as to why Ralph wanted her to do this, but went along with it anyway.

"HEY RAYNE!" he yelled as he kicked the door of the car and then taking a few steps back.

Rayne sat up rather quickly, and when he did his lips met Vinyl's fuzzy lips and they were like that for a few seconds before they both turned blood red, realizing what they were doing and pulled away quickly.

"Umm, uh, I… I didn't mean to," Rayne stuttered as he looked her in the eyes, leaning away from her rather fearful of what the unicorn could possibly do to him.

Her reaction wasn't what he expected. Instead of knocking him out like he thought she would, she nuzzled him knowing he didn't do it by will but glared at Ralph, and then went back to listening to the music which had changed from Deadmau5 to Mt. Eden. Ralph was laughing so hard he didn't see what Rayne was doing.

"I'm goina kick your ass," Rayne yelled as he climbed out of his car and started towards Ralph, "So freakin hard that both our mom's will feel it."

Ralph ran off a ways away from Rayne, knowing he could easily outrun him if he had to. Rayne also knew this, plus his wounds kept him at ease, so instead of giving chase he grabbed one of his knives out of his car, walked over to Ralph's and held the tip of the blade an inch from the car door. Ralph seeing this got a quarter out of his pocket and ran straight to Rayne's car, holding the coin just off the carbon fiber hood, knowing Rayne would back down at the thought of his hood being defaced.

"It seems as though we have reached an impasse, my friend," Rayne stated, glaring at Ralph.

"Indeed we have," he quipped back, smiling, "Think of it this way, you got a kiss."

Rayne was just about to fire back at him when Derpy appeared; sticking her head out the window and taking him off guard.

"Hi Rayne," she said loudly, causing him to jump back.

"What the!? Who the hell are you?"

"I'm Derpy Hooves, you want a muffin?" she asked, holding out a muffin. Looking down at the little pony in Ralph's Accord he noticed her eyes were a little off. He reached down accepting the muffin with a nervous smile still in shock from the randomness.

"Thanks, uh Derpy wasn't it," He said as he took a bite of the muffin and smiled brightly. It was a chocolate chip muffin like Ralph had earlier, "Mmmm that brings back some memories."

"You're welcome," Derpy smiled back knowing she made him happy like she had done to Ralph when they first met. Ralph on the other hand was laughing himself to tears, at least until the pain in his chest made him stop. No one was paying attention to Vinyl, who by this time was trying to figure out how to change songs on Rayne's tablet, looking for some more of his music. But sadly for the guys and everypony around she turned the volume up way to loud with another techno fast-pace hard-bass song, causing the car to vibrate and the ground as well.

"Holy shitting shit, what the hell!" Ralph jumped higher than Rayne at the sudden beat.

"Nonononono!" Rayne turned around quickly taking off in a fast sprint to help a very scared Vinyl, who was trying to figure out how to work his radio. Reaching through the window he pulled the auxiliary cord out of the head unit, causing the music to stop. Breathing hard from a bit of fear and excitement Vinyl opened the passenger door with her magic and ran off in to town.

"Hey, wait," Rayne called after her, trying to stop her and then looking down at the car he muttered quietly, "I didn't even get her name."

Ralph watched her run off and remembered his own companion from earlier, feeling bad he had forgotten her waiting patiently. Walking over to his car he opened the front passenger door letting Derpy out. "Thanks for the ride Ralph." Derpy took flight but not before leaving a muffin on the dashboard.

Off by the castle doors three princesses and five mares watched the whole scene before them. When Rayne and Vinyl made lip contact Luna stomped the ground in frustration and jealousy, gaining the attention of her fellow observers. "Is something the matter Luna?" Twilight asked worriedly.

"His friend is cruel for making him do such a thing," Luna stated, glaring daggers at Vinyl the rest of the time. Everypony noticed this, and thought it best to just let her be. They noticed Derpy in Ralph's car when she poked her head out the window scaring Rayne. They were all taken off guard when the music became louder and could see Vinyl panicking in the car until Rayne made it stop and Vinyl took off running into town.

As the ponies continued observing, they noticed Derpy was still in Ralph's car. Celestia watched curiously, noticing that Derpy got excited as Ralph came over to let her out. Before he opened the door, Derpy put a muffin on his dashboard as a sign of their new friendship. Celestia just smiled to herself, seeing that Ralph isn't as hateful as he tries to pass himself off as.

The boys were play fighting each other when they both looked up and realized that they had an audience.

"WHEN THE TWO OF YOU ARE DONE GOOFING OFF," using the Royal Canterlot voice, Luna stopped them from jerking around.

"Say it don't spray it," Ralph quipped back at her, letting Rayne loose from a headlock.

"Sorry, we were just playing around," Rayne said, punching Ralph in the arm not making the situation any better with the mares, "If no one minds, I'm going to go find the pony that was hanging with me."

"Umm dearie, her name is Vinyl Scratch for future reference," Rarity said pointing a hoof in the direction Vinyl went.

"Now just hold on a cotton pickin minute," Applejack interrupted, stopping Rayne in his tracks, "That feller there needs to repay his debt of stealin ten of my apples."

"Heh, you're in trouble," Ralph said, pointing mockingly at Rayne.

AJ looked over at the princesses hoping for them to agree with her. As if on cue, Luna looked at her and nodded.

"I agree, he should repay what he stole, but Applejack, he's still recovering from the wounds he got from the Timber wolves," Luna said, addressing AJ, "Until he heals completely, I'm afraid I feel as though making him work could irritate his injuries."

"I agree with Luna," Celestia stated looking at AJ, "He and Ralph need a good night's sleep before we task them with anything just now. Rayne, you may go."

Applejack wanted to protest, but she knew better than to challenge the princess's decision. Reluctantly she agreed, telling Rayne that first thing in the morning he would drive the two of them out to Sweet Apple Acres. Rayne nodded, thanked Luna and Celestia, and started walking through town searching for Vinyl. Ralph chose not to help him and instead said he'd rather stay put, looking curiously over at Twilight.

"So, sparkle pants, where do we get to sleep cause I don't mind sleeping in my car again," he said, walking over to the ponies.

Twilight was just looking at Ralph noticing every detail about his goofy grin, medium length black hair, brown eyes and trimmed goatee on his slightly dark tan complexion as he walked over. Shaking her head at his comment, she informed him that he and Rayne were guests in the kingdom so they would be staying in her castle. Both of them had their own rooms where their weapons and personal belongings were waiting on them. Spike was in charge of showing them around the castle and to their rooms, and it made Spike very happy to get the honor of doing so.

"Aw man Ralph, you're goina love it here," Spike said running up to Ralph, "Come on, let me show you around."

Ralph nodded at Twilight, in a half thanking her way and proceeded into the castle with Spike telling him all about how the castle came to be.

Rayne on the other hand was going through town, asking random ponies if they had seen Vinyl Scratch run through. As luck would have it, one pony had seen her run straight to the park. Thanking her, he started walking, then stopping and going back to her.

"Eh heh, I forgot to ask which way the park was, miss…?" he said looking down at the aqua green colored pony.

"Oh, it's that way, just past that bridge," she said, pointing her hoof towards it, "By the way my name's Lyra Heartstrings, but you can call me Lyra for short."

He smiled, thanked her again and started a slow walk to the bridge, mostly because his right leg was beginning to hurt. As he made his way over the bridge, he could see Vinyl sitting on a bench, staring at the ground. He walked calmly over to the bench and sat down beside her.

"I'm sorry that happened," Rayne said, looking over at her, "I should have shown you how to work my tablet, you didn't break anything. Please, don't be upset."

She looked at him then back to the ground and with a heavy sigh she looked back up at him, taking her shades off. Rayne could tell she had been crying. He didn't know what else to do but put his arm around her to comfort her.

"It's ok, I'm not mad, you're my friend" Rayne told her, with a chuckle and looking straight into her eyes, "I thought it was kinda funny. You scared the crap out of Ralph and he deserved it."

Vinyl looked at him with a small smile, and stood up on the bench, hugging him real quick, and then getting down off of it, putting her shades back on. She waved her hoof at him, and departed. Rayne watching her leave figured that meant everything was alright between the two of them and decided to head back to the castle. Shortly after arriving, Spike was standing at the door waiting on him.

"Hey Rayne, did you find Vinyl?" he asked, looking up at Rayne, with a hopeful smile.

"Yea, I did," Rayne responded, "Hey, can she talk?"

"Not sure, no one's ever really heard her say anything," Spike said with a shrug, "One thing's for sure though, she makes some awesome music."

"I see. So, what's up?" Rayne asked.

"Oh right, Twilight asked me to wait up for you and show you to your room," Spike said, cheerfully, "You and Ralph are guests so, you get your own room in the castle."

Rayne was delighted to hear it, because sleeping in an Eclipse isn't as comfortable as one would think. Following Spike through the castle, he got a history lesson on the how the castle came to be, and they passed by Twilights room. She looked out at them and smiled as they passed by. Rayne, when he saw her, simply bowed, thanking her for the room, and excused himself for intruding on her privacy. After leading him to his room, Spike also informed Rayne that his personal belongings, as well as his swords, were waiting on him. The two said goodnight and Spike headed to Twilights room, and Ralph came out of his.

"So, find your girlfriend?" Ralph asked, mockingly.

"Yea, she's alright," Rayne replied, kinda lost in thought and ignoring his comment, "She doesn't talk to me, but, I think she's kinda cute."

"You are so weird, you know that?"

"Whatever man, at least I'm not pissing anyone off" Rayne said shaking it off with a laugh, and turning to walk in his room, "I'm hitting the sack; I'll see ya tomorrow after I work off my debt to Applejack."

"Ya pissed that one off, night bro," Ralph said disappearing to his room. Shortly after hitting their beds, the two were out like a light.

**Hope you guys continue reading because we'****ve just scratched the surface. R&R:)**


	9. I really really hate my life

**Hello our faithfull fans. This chapter is a little focused on Ralph. **

The next morning Ralph woke up and found his way to the kitchen grabbing a few apples and bananas on the way through. After a short while Rayne came through, grabbing an orange and waved bye as he went to meet up with Applejack. A few hours later, after exploring the castle on his own, he went outside to explore the grounds around it, seeing Princess Celestia and Princess Luna arrive to speak to Twilight. A short while later, the two princesses came outside and Celestia began to explain to him what life would be like for them in Equestria, and eventually getting around to what she really wanted of him for the day.

"Ralph, you should go out and help a pony or two around town while Rayne is away, but be mindful of your wounds," Celestia stated, walking with him to the edge of the castle gates, "Let the pony-folk know who you are and who knows, you might just make a few friends."

With that, she and Luna smiled at him, and took to their royal chariots. As they rode off, he noticed Celestia look back at him before they took flight. With a grumpy sigh and wondering why she looked back at him, he decided it was best to leave his car at Twilight's Castle instead of burning fuel to ride around the town. With Rayne busy working at Sweet Apple Acres because of the misunderstanding, he was now alone.

"Ok, help a few ponies out and get her Royal Highness off my back," Ralph grumbled as he strolled through the town looking at the different buildings. Several ponies greeted him warmly while most the others kept their distance from him. He couldn't blame them, he and Rayne were foreign to them and they didn't know how to handle talking to them. He had been walking around for a good half hour and no one seemed to want or need his help until one pony appeared behind him.

"Excuse me, sir?" a quiet, nervous female's voice asked behind him. He turned his head to see a slightly heavyset plum colored pony with a raspberry pink mane.

"Yea, can I help you?" He replied in a calm and nice manner.

"My name is Berry Punch," she said, "You're one of the humans who fought the wolves, aren't you?"

"Yes and my name is Ralph, what can I do for you?" he asked, still being nice.

"Princess Twilight explained that you and your friend would be staying here. I hate to bother you but would you be so kind as to help me gather a few things from the Everfree Forest?" she asked, smiling and trying to use the big puppy dog eyes on him.

"I know I'm going to regret this, but sure thing," he replied with a heavy sigh, knowing it would be what got Celestia off his back if she found out he helped one of the town's folk.

"Oh thank you so much," she said closing her eyes and smiling even bigger now, "I just need to get my bag from my house and we can be on our way."

As the two went back to her house for the bag, she decided to make small talk.

"Thank you for saving our town," she said, trotting a little ahead of him, "It's very rare for the Timber Wolves to be close to town let alone attack it, so it was lucky of us that you two where there."

"We were just doing what we thought was right," he replied, looking up as they stopped in front of her house, "Though Rayne did try to get himself killed, I almost got eaten, and the he worried my ass that he clocked out on me."

"Still, you and your friend are very brave. So where are you from dear?" she asked as she let them in the house, watching him duck to get in.

The question took Ralph by surprise but his response was bitter, "Someplace that my bro and I will never get to see again."

"I'm sorry for that," she whispered quietly, hearing the bitterness in his voice, "Just wait here a minute, I'll be right back down."

Ralph rolled his eyes, hoping she didn't see it, and stood there taking note that for the most part the houses all looked alike; 2 stories with white walls, and a straw roof. She came back down a few minutes later with a pair of saddle bags strapped to her back.

"Ok dear, we're ready to go," she stated smiling cheerfully at him. Ralph almost forgot to duck going back out of the house, but got lucky missing the door frame by mere inches. As they headed out of town, most everypony was taking notice of how awkward the two looked together.

Hours later and a few near disasters in the Everfree Forest, it was getting late in the afternoon when the two finally gathered all the items that Berry was after.

"That's everything on my list," she squealed in excitement, tightening the strap on her bag, "Oh thank you so much, I couldn't have done any of this without you."

"Great, now let's rest and get something to drink from that stream before we head back," he replied, pointing at the small stream not far from where they were standing, "I'm friggin thirsty."

She nodded in agreement, smiling at him, and followed him to the stream. They rested for a few, drinking the cool water the stream had provided. Ralph could taste just how pure the water was, untouched by pollution, like the polluted waters that plagued his home world. As he splashed some water on his face to cool him down, he heard an unusual sound behind him. It sounded like a bucket of water being dumped on the ground, but it was only him and Berry at the moment.

Turning his head to confirm his theory of it being the two of them, there lay Berry Punch on the ground panting and he saw what seemed to be water coming from her hindquarters.

"Uh, hey you ok?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"The foal, it's coming!" she groaned, going into labor.

"Wait what?! You're pregnant and didn't say anything earlier?"

"I THOUGHT YOU COULD TELL?!"

"How the hell could I know," he shot back, "And of course, it's happening right now?"

"YES, NOW HELP ME!" She screamed, making Ralph flinch.

There was no moving her until it was over, and even if he wanted to she would be fighting him the whole way. Not only that but he knew it would risk her losing the foal.

"Damnit Damnit Damnit," was all Ralph could say, rushing to her side, unstrapping the saddle bag and tossing it aside, "I hate my life."

Using the little bit of knowledge he had about these kind of things, he went to her rear and steadied himself. He regretted this choice immediately at what the view presented.

"I really, really, hate my life, its always me, its never Rayne," he said again, "Umm ok Berry, I need you to breathe and push, can you do that for me?"

"I'M TRYING TO!" She screamed again.

"You're almost there, one more push," he said trying to keep cool and reassure her.

A few more pushes yielded luck and with a scream that pierced throughout the forest, it ended in the sound of a soft cry. Ralph, using his pocket knife to cut the umbilical cord, then took his shirt off to clean the new foal. Watching him through tired eyes, she saw how gentle he was being with the newborn, gingerly wiping the foal down. All she could do was smile, unable to keep from crying at the sight before her.

"Congrats Berry, it's a colt," he said, smiling at her and sitting the child down next to her. What he did next surprised her. He made his way over to some bushes, doubled over as he released the contents of his stomach.

"Oh my, are you ok dear?" she asked him through her tears, trying to regain her strength.

"I saw things that can never be unseen," he said, wiping the bile from his lips, "We need to get the two of you to the Hospital."

As he grabbed the saddle bag, throwing it over his shoulder, he watched the little foal try to stand and fall back down. After a few tries, the little colt looked up at him and feeling sorry for the baby, he bent down and picked him up.

"Aww, you two look so cute together," She cooed at the sight of her foal being cradled in Ralph's arms.

"I don't do cute," he grumbled, "Can you walk?"

She stood up slowly, and after a few tries was able to hold her own. The two began making their way back to Ponyville, slowly and making many stops along the way for her to rest. They finally made it to the edge of town and Ralph knew they were taking too long.

"Berry, I'll be back, I'm going to get us a way to the hospital," he said as he set the foal down beside her.

Before she could respond, Ralph was off like a rocket towards Twilights Castle. As it began to get dark, Berry Punch was getting worried until she heard something that she had only heard as of recent. Out of nowhere, Ralph came flying up in his car to them. Before the car got completely stopped, he had already jumped out and ran around opening the two passenger doors.

"Get in," he said quickly.

"Oh, you're the best Ralph," she said climbing in slowly and sitting down as Ralph put her foal in the seat with her to hold. After tossing the bag into the back, he shut the doors rather hard and bolted around the car to the driver's door. Jumping in, he reached over and strapped her and the child in. Not even hesitating he slammed the car into drive and hammered the accelerator, pointing the Accord in the direction of the hospital.

A few minutes later they slid to a stop in front of the hospital. Berry was shaking from the ride, but the foal seemed to be enjoying himself, giggling the whole way. Ralph rushed out of his car, opening the door for her and vanished into the hospital yelling for the nurses. He found Nurse Sweetheart and began explaining to her about the newborn foal and how tired Berry Punch was.

Running out with a pony version of a wheel chair and Nurse Sweetheart in tow he opened the door, undoing the seatbelt and put the two in the chair. "There we go now. They'll take care of you," Ralph said as he put her saddle bag on Nurse Sweetheart's back, "See ya later."

"Thank you dear!" Berry called out before the doors of the hospital closed. Turning around to get in his car he heard his name being called out.

"Ralph!" Twilight was sprinting towards him. "Oh great, now what does she want?" He smirked as Twilight didn't have a pleasant look on her face.

"What in Equestria are you doing going around Ponyville like that?! You could of hurt somepony!" she exclaimed, frowning at Ralph's reckless behavior through town.

"Oh so sorry there your majesty, but today I delivered Berry Punch's foal in the Everfree Forest, carried him and her saddle bag to the edge of town, and drove those two to the hospital for treatment. So yea, I saw things I should never have seen so now I'm going to the castle and getting some food and some sleep if you don't mind. Good Bye." Ralph just got in his car and drove off leaving Twilight standing there in shock.

"He was only helping her," Twilight said to herself, thinking out loud, "I shouldn't have been so mean to him, I completely misjudged him."

She teleported herself to her castle to wait for Ralph, she knew that she would be able to beat him to the castle. Shortly after she arrived to the castle, Spike came outside and waited with her.

"What's wrong Twilight?" Spike asked.

"I may have made a mistake with Ralph and I hope he can forgive me," she said, sitting patiently for him to arrive.

The sound of his car coming into the courtyard was unmistakable. Almost a second later Rayne came rolling up, parking beside Ralph's car. As they got out, Ralph wanted to talk to Rayne about how it went at the farm.

"Hey, how'd the slave camp go?" Ralph joked as Rayne walked by.

"Don't bother me," Rayne growled as they headed to the castle, putting his headphones on.

"Somebody's in a shit mood," Ralph grumbled looking over at Rayne, knowing it's a moot point to talk to him when he's angry.

"Is everything alright Rayne?" Twilight asked looking up at him as he stormed by.

"I wouldn't even try to talk to him," Ralph said walking up beside Twilight as they watched Rayne skulk off into the castle, "When he's mad, there's no living with him or talking to him. Hell, you should have seen what happened when someone scratched his car. That poor guy didn't stand a chance in hell."

"Oh, I see, hopefully he won't be too mad about Sapphire Mist waiting in his room," she replied, looking up at him sadly, "I'm sorry for yelling at you when you were only trying to help Berry Punch, I overreacted, please forgive me. Spike will go with you to the dining hall when you're ready for dinner."

Before he could reply, she vanished. He shrugged, looked down at Spike and stood there thinking.

"So, how do you think Rayne's going to act when he finds that she's in his room?" he asked jokingly, walking with Spike to the dining hall.

"I don't know, but I hope she can handle him," Spike said, looking up at Ralph as they walked through the castle.

**So what do you guys think of that situation Ralph was in? R&R**


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